A Chick with a Pick

I'm unwilling to pigeon hole myself politically, but if forced, I would happily place myself in the 'frustrated feminist' box. If I was around in the early part of the twentieth century I'd have been more than happy to burn bras with the Suffragettes, as it's a literally evil contraption.

The bra-burning remains a point of contention amongst the modern day collection of men-haters, but the fact that these freedom-fighters went on hunger strike to promote their cause is a recorded fact; although they may have just wanted to lose a bit of weight in order to catch a husband.

Lefty troublemaker Emmeline Pankhurst would have got her reinforced knickers in a twist over Wimbledon's antiquated policy of paying the men more than the bints. In the All England Club's defence, they probably had to insure against a cushion dispute escalating into violence, or a mouse stopping play. This year, the lovely ladies will receive identical restitution to their completely equal in every way male counterparts.

Amelie Mauresmo will be ecstatic with this development. The reigning ladies champion looks a great shout at 12/1 to get her shovel-hands on the improved wedge. Grass courts always suit the big hitters, and they don't get any bigger than the gigantic Frenchman.

In the men's draw, big things are expected of rising star Andy Murray. A good run may well lead to the injury-prone Sweaty being promoted to a Brit.

Roger Federer is the man they all have to beat. The Swiss genius has a backhand so strong; Lee Chapman can only look on in envy. The Fed Express is a good thing at 4/9.

Organisers expect to sell 60,000 pounds of strawberries and 1,500 gallons of cream during the Wimbledon fortnight, although that figure will collapse if Frank Lampard fails to show. Tim Henman will definitely turn up, but he'll be lucky to see the second round.

The Copa America kicks off on Tuesday and it's a straight two horse war between the Brazilians and the Argentineans. The Samba Boys will be without a tired Kaka and Ronaldinho has also withdrawn following advice from his dental hygienist. I'm getting my teeth into the Argies at a delightful 17/10.

Controversy surrounds Wayne Rooney's involvement in Ricky Hatton's super-fight against Jose Luis Castillo. Wayne is a now so nervous about his role, there's a real chance that he may drop his belt in Las Vegas. Castillo has looked jaded following his wars with Corrales, the 4/7 for the Hitman is particularly striking.

The final of the Under-21 Championships will pit the total football of the Dutch against the thuggish Serbs. I'll be on Holland at 11/10 as beauty will always beat the beast in the end. You should really follow me in on this one: I'm a leading expert in the field of beast-beating.