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Lettuce get it on
I’m a great believer in animal rights; I believe they
have the right to fit nicely on a bun.
My attitude has undoubtedly softened since I witnessed a
horrific dogfight. In the wife’s defence, the barmaid
should never have called last orders.
Manchester City need a result at Middlesbrough to avoid being
dragged into a real scrap at the wrong end of the table. The
Boro do have one eye on Monday’s FA Cup replay; I’m
considering getting involved with another psycho at 10/3.
I feel a real connection with the animal loving McCartney
clan. I could never understand why Stella appeared unhappy
with Heather; I’d have thought the prospect of a decent
burger for dinner would have been a relief. I guess the waiting
time proved an annoyance. There’s nothing annoying about
the 11/10 for a Reading win over Portsmouth.
Roman Abramovich is another high profile figure to have recently
split from his other half. I imagine Roman’s wife won’t
be too upset though, she’s in line for a massive payout;
although Frank Lampard has denied being a part of any deal.
The future of Lampard and Terry is under a cloud thanks to
a proposed salary cap. Chelsea are considering introducing
a £120,000 a week ceiling; I think the builder’s
ripping them off. Chelsea will demolish Sheffield United at
1/5.
Call me an overly optimistic, frustrated ornithologist, but
I wish that all birds were as easy to get on their backs as
the Robben. A 3-0 Chelsea win should be dived on at a more
punter friendly 7/1.
I was delighted to hear the news that Michael Owen is up
and running again. Only Michael and his local bookmaker were
more excited. I’m quite literally beside myself with
the 6/4 for a Charlton win over Newcastle.
Fulham may have a fantastic record at the Cottage, but they
get stopped more than Pete Doherty on the road. Wigan have
the three points in the bag at 5/4.
Arsenal have appeared to have based their style of play on
me. It’s pretty to look at, but there’s a real lack
of penetration. If forced, I’d suggest a win for the
Gunners at Goodison Park, but the skinny odds of 5/4 are a
little bit like Scotland, you’re better off keeping out
of it.
The wife had to meet up with the doctor last night, Martens,
I think his name was. Backing the Villa to draw with Liverpool
at 12/5 will cover the cost of a big bottle of Lucozade; I’ve
got a raging thirst.
I must express my sense of disappointment with Anton Ferdinand.
The manager was never going to believe he was visiting his
grandma; only Wayne Rooney can sell that line without arousing
suspicion. I’m putting my cash down on Blackburn to beat
West Ham at 8/11.
Rooney may well be partnered by overrated midfielder / overrated
forward Alan Smith for the visit of Bolton, but United can
still be backed with real confidence at 1/3.
Ronaldo looks a great shout to open the scoring at 11/2.
The procumbent winger is second only to Drogba in the race
for the golden boot; that’s half decent for a lad who
only plays a tiny proportion of the game in an upright position.
Here’s an adage for Martin Jol. ‘You can’t
catch fire if you throw away matches’. Spurs would definitely
have seen off Chelsea if Lennon and Berbatov weren’t
sacrificed to appease the God of ‘bus-parking’.
Jol can make amends by sending out a decent team to beat Watford
at 1/2.
The weekend accer is so thought provoking; i’m actually
considering turning into a vegetarian. Of course that’s
dependent on finding a morally loose non-meat eater with exceptionally
low standards. Reading, Spurs, Wigan, Blackburn and Charlton
are the selections, the payout is a beefy 26/1.
Weekend Betting:
Man Utd v Bolton Saturday 17th March 12:45 Live on Premiership
Plus
Man Utd 1/3
Draw 4/1
Bolton 19/2
Get on: Man Utd
Match Special:
Ronaldo to score direct from a free kick 6/1
Chelsea v Sheff Utd Saturday 17th March 15:00
Chelsea 1/5
Draw 11/2
Sheff Utd 16/1
Get on: Chelsea
Match Special:
Drogba and Lampard both to score 4/1
Middlesbrough v Man City Saturday 17th March 15:00
Middlesbrough 11/10
Draw 9/4
Man City 10/3
Get on: Man City
Match Special:
Barton to score the only goal of the game 70/1
Reading v Portsmouth Saturday 17th March 15:00
Reading 11/10
Draw 23/10
Portsmouth 11/4
Get on: Reading
Match Special:
Lita to score with a header 5/1
Tottenham v Watford Saturday 17th March 15:00
Tottenham 1/2
Draw 3/1
Watford 15/2
Get on: Tottenham
Match Special:
Berbatov to score a hat-trick 16/1
Wigan v Fulham Saturday 17th March 15:00
Wigan 5/4
Draw 9/4
Fulham 12/5
Get on: Wigan
Match Special:
Camara to score the first goal 11/2
Blackburn v West Ham Saturday 17th March 17:15 Live on Premiership
Plus
Blackburn 8/11
Draw 13/5
West Ham 4/1
Get on: Blackburn
Match Special:
Bentley to score from outside the penalty area 13/2
Charlton v Newcastle Sunday 18th March 13:30
Charlton 6/4
Draw 23/10
Newcastle 19/10
Get on: Charlton
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score two or more goals 15/2
Aston Villa v Liverpool Sunday 18th March 13:35 Live on Sky
Aston Villa 3/1
Draw 12/5
Liverpool 19/20
Get on: Draw
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the game 9/1
Everton v Arsenal Sunday 18th March 16:00 Live on Sky
Everton 9/4
Draw 23/10
Arsenal 5/4
Get on: Arsenal
Match Special:
A Brazilian to score the first goal 3/1
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