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Playing with one's health
I'm a little bit down at the minute. I've been carrying around
a few pound of overweight and i'm struggling to find any real
direction. I need to talk to a professional; I need to 'Talk
to Frank'.
Mr Lampard is in the perfect position to help me through
this crisis; a win for the champions over a woeful Wigan will
lift my spirits at a mental 2/9.
The wife is also in therapy; she's been seeing a wily shrink
for a number of years. The good doctor fancies Bolton to beat
Man City at 4/5. If you're after a second opinion, I concur.
My love-life has improved dramatically since the wife began
her treatment; I make the most of the two hours that she's
out of the house. I'm getting stuck into the 3/1 about Watford
holding Liverpool to a draw.
Henrik Larsson has been labelled the new Eric Cantona; i
look forward to him putting on seven stone and scissor-kicking
Cockneys. Of course that's just a joke, putting on weight
can lead to health problems. Henrik proved the difference
between Man U and Villa a week ago, another United win appeals
at a seagull-trawling 2/7.
I was genuinely surprised to read that Cristiano Ronaldo
has been enjoying liaisons with a Hollyoaks star; he doesn't
look the type to get involved with an actress. The Portuguese
love machine can find the net at 13/8.
I'm a real technophobe; I just hate the repetitive beats.
My computer says that Sheffield United represent value at
17/10 to see off Pompey at Bramall Lane.
I've been suffering from panic attacks lately; possibly brought
on by the wife almost finding my 'special' DVD's. Luckily,
I've now hidden them in a place where she'll never find them;
the kitchen. I'm tucking into the 10/11 about Arsenal beating
Blackburn.
It's no coincidence that Arsenal's results have improved
since Arsene Wenger whipped out his 'Beast'. Julio Baptista
practically beat the Scousers on his own in midweek; the new
improved Gunners can win by two clear goals at 5/2.
It was refreshing to see Phil Neville apologise for Everton's
abysmal performance against Blackburn; I hope Neville Neville
will now hold his hands up to his two mistakes.
Everton tried to claim that their surrender was due to the
poor shape of the ball, they're hoping for a triangular one
against Reading. The Royals can leave Goodison with a point
at a shapely 9/4.
The wife didn't enjoy our honeymoon; well she did for 64
seconds. The honeymoon period is well and truly over for Alan
Curbishley, West Ham's collapse at Reading was the greatest
capitulation since the last war that the French were momentarily
involved in.
Curbs has labelled his under-achieving team 'the Bentley
brigade'. I think they're a racing certainty to see off Fulham
at 6/5; unless they choke.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, I'm coming round
there tooled up. Opposing Newcastle's decimated squad has
hit me where it hurts recently; Spurs will right this heinous
wrong at 4/5.
The wife has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic, and I don't
care for either of them. I do like the 7/4 about Middlesbrough
seeing off Charlton.
This week's accer is so persuasive, Frank Lampard has finally
agreed to a meet-up. Bolton, Man Utd, West Ham, Arsenal and
Tottenham are the selections, the payout is a multiple-chinned
16/1.
Weekend Betting:
Watford v Liverpool Saturday 13th January 12:45 Live on Premiership
Plus
Watford 6/1
Draw 3/1
Liverpool 8/15
Get on: Draw
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 11/1
Bolton v Man City Saturday 13th January 15:00
Bolton 4/5
Draw 12/5
Man City 7/2
Get on: Bolton
Match Special:
Anelka to score from outside the area 9/2
Charlton v Middlesbrough Saturday 13th January 15:00
Charlton 6/4
Draw 9/4
Middlesbrough 7/4
Get on: Middlesbrough
Match Special:
Yakubu to score two or more goals 15/2
Chelsea v Wigan Saturday 13th January 15:00
Chelsea 2/9
Draw 5/1
Wigan 14/1
Get on: Chelsea
Match Special:
Lampard to score a deflected goal 9/2
Man Utd v Aston Villa Saturday 13th January 15:00
Man Utd 2/7
Draw 9/2
Aston Villa 11/1
Get on: Man Utd
Match Special:
Ronaldo and Larsson both to score 9/2
Sheff Utd v Portsmouth Saturday 13th January 15:00
Sheff Utd 17/10
Draw 9/4
Portsmouth 7/4
Get on: Sheff Utd
Match Special:
Sheff U to win and keep a clean sheet 10/3
West Ham v Fulham Saturday 13th January 15:00
West Ham 6/5
Draw 9/4
Fulham 12/5
Get on: West Ham
Match Special:
Tevez to score the first goal 6/1
Blackburn v Arsenal Saturday 13th January 17:15 Live on Premiership
Plus
Blackburn 10/3
Draw 12/5
Arsenal 10/11
Get on: Arsenal
Match Special:
Arsenal to score three or more goals 7/2
Everton v Reading Sunday 14th January 13:45 Live on Sky
Everton Evs
Draw 9/4
Reading 11/4
Get on: Draw
Match Special:
Johnson and Doyle to score in a 1-1 draw 66/1
Tottenham v Newcastle Sunday 14th January 16:00 Live on Sky
Tottenham 4/5
Draw 12/5
Newcastle 4/1
Get on: Tottenham
Match Special:
Malbranque to score at any time 10/3
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