The Good Book

The Premiership is universally touted as the greatest league in the
World, yet the football played this season is comparable to sex between
old people; interesting for the participants, but the neutral has no
real interest.

Out of 54 matches played, we've already seen 8 goalless matches.
There's a couple of 'Paint dryers' on the coupon this weekend, back 'No
Goalscorer' in the Everton v Wigan and Middlesbrough v Sunderland
matches, you'll be getting 8/1 about a 5/1 shot. The football will be
dull, but making a tidy profit, now that's entertainment.

It's been a mixed week for Wayne Rooney, he won young player of the
year, but then UEFA hit him with a two match ban for giving a referee
the clap; shares in McDonalds have rocketed as a result. Expect Rooney
to take his anger out on Blackburn, Man U are good things at 1/4.

Peter 'Higher than Kate Moss' Crouch is set for another difficult
weekend. The Liverpool hitman was on the wrong end of an earful from
Rio Ferdinand last week, and the ex Villan can expect another battle
when he travels to Birmingham. Liverpool are yet to win on the road,
but as Birmingham have lost every match at home, the omens point to a
hard fought away win. Get on the 'Pool at Evens to win the match thanks
to a 'Crouch potato'. He'll chip in with the opener.

Manchester City hit the woodwork 5 times last week in a soul destroying
1-0 defeat to Bolton. Hitting the bar, then a post is nothing new;
Jermaine Pennant came up with the idea last season. Man City will have
more bad luck this weekend; get on Newcastle to continue their winning
ways at 11/10.

With goals hard to come by, finding a player to be booked may be
somewhat easier; the following specials are available at Super Soccer.

"Book him, Danno" - Danny Mills to be booked 7/4
"Cruel, tubby kind" - Wayne Rooney to be booked 7/4
"Johnny be good" - John Terry to be booked 9/4
"All shook Up" - Matthew Upson to be booked 5/2
"Fresh Ginger" - Scholes to be booked 11/4
"Go for a Song" - Boumsong to be booked 3/1
"De Gaulle of him" - Robert Pires to be booked 10/3
"Cross with Silva" - Gilberto Silva to be booked 10/3
"Put the card before the horse" - Van Nistelrooy to be booked 10/3
"P.C. gone mad" - Peter Crouch to be booked 7/2
"Let's get Freddie to Rumble" - Ljungberg to be booked 7/2

Quote of the week:

"That fifth goal was not deserved."
John Gorman, after Villa destroyed Wycombe 8-3.

Stat, you're a liberty:

Aston Villa have scored five goals this season, and all have been scored
before the 11th minute.

Acc of the week:

Liverpool
Newcastle
Charlton
Arsenal
Bolton

The five-fold will pay over 28/1.

Weekend Betting:

Birmingham v Liverpool Saturday 24th September 12.45
Live on PPV

Birmingham 5/2
Draw 2/1
Liverpool Evs

Get on: Liverpool

The European Champions are struggling to score goals, but they face a
Birmingham side who are yet to earn a point at home. Away win.
Match Special:
Liverpool to win 1-0 6/1

Chelsea v Aston Villa Saturday 24th September 15.00

Chelsea 2/9
Draw 4/1
Aston Villa 9/1

Get on: Chelsea

Chelsea have won this fixture 1-0 for the last two seasons. Judging on
recent form, it'll either be 1-0 again, or 8-3 to the Villa. I'll pick
the former.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 1-0 7/1

Everton v Wigan Saturday 24th September 15.00

Everton 8/11
Draw 9/4
Wigan 10/3

Get on: Draw

Everton are the only team in the League yet to score in front of their
own fans, my cash will be on that stat continuing.
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 8/1

Man Utd v Blackburn Saturday 24th September 15.00

Man Utd 1/4
Draw 7/1
Blackburn 10/1

Get on: Man Utd

Van Nistelrooy has a cracking record of scoring the first goal in this
fixture; there'll be no long face as he nets the opener in a convincing
United victory.
Match Special:
Van Nistelrooy to score the first goal 11/4

Newcastle v Man City Saturday 24th September 15.00

Newcastle 11/10
Draw 9/4
Man City 2/1

Get on: Newcastle

The Geordies have hit goal scoring form; Shearer has a great recent
record against Man City, as has Michael Owen. Home win.
Match Special:
Shearer and Owen both to score 6/1

West Brom v Charlton Saturday 24th September 15.00

West Brom 13/8
Draw 11/5
Charlton 11/8

Get on: Charlton

Charlton have won 1-0 at the Hawthorns on their last three visits,
another three points awaits.
Match Special:
Charlton to win 1-0 6/1

West Ham v Arsenal Saturday 24th September
15.00

West Ham 10/3
Draw 9/4
Arsenal 8/11

Get on: Arsenal

A tough game to call, the Hammers top the League in average goals scored
per game, but Arsenal are showing glimpses of their previous greatness.
The Gunners have came from behind to snatch a draw on their last two
trips to Upton Park, they can go one better today.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win from behind 8/1

Bolton v Portsmouth Saturday 24th September
17.15 Live on PPV

Bolton 8/11
Draw 9/4
Portsmouth 10/3

Get on: Bolton

Portsmouth have lost to Bolton in five of their last six meetings.
Discontent is growing amongst the Pompey faithful, another defeat lies
ahead.
Match Special:
Bolton to keep a clean sheet 11/10

Middlesbrough v Sunderland Sunday 25th September 16.00
Live on Sky

Middlesbrough 8/13
Draw 12/5
Sunderland 4/1

Get on: Draw

Boro are inconsistent, Sunderland are improving; another dull nil-nil.
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 8/1

Tottenham v Fulham Monday 26th September 20.00
Live on Sky

Tottenham 8/15
Draw 12/5
Fulham 5/1

Get on: Fulham

If Grimsby knock you out of the Cup, it's safe to say you're not playing
well. Fulham have won four of the last six meetings between the two;
back Fulham to be singing in the Lane.
Match Special:
Fulham to win 1-0 11/1