Betting on football is a lot like living with a woman, there are always
an incredible amount of rules you have to follow to make the experience
pleasurable.

Rule no 1 in football betting is also rule no 1 in female cohabitation;
avoid the Psycho.

Manchester City have always been a team to steer clear from on the
weekly accumulator, occasionally magnificent, sometimes woeful but
consistently inconsistent. Amazingly, Stuart Pearce has steered his
team to an 11 match unbeaten run, and Man City at 8/13 are the weekend's
best bet. It's Psycho logical.

The game of the week will be played at White Hart Lane, where Tottenham
and Chelsea meet in a top of the table encounter. The Champions looked
very impressive in midweek, and would appear to be an excellent
investment at even money. Spurs have definite ability in their team,
but I would advise the following; don't get mad, get evens.

Here's a stat that even a pre-therapy Joey Barton would find difficult
to argue with, the last five matches between Middlesbrough and Charlton
at the Riverside have ended in a draw. Boro won well in midweek, but
Charlton's unique policy of starting the season well before collapsing
like Wayne Rooney's deck-chair makes the draw a cracking bet at 12/5.

Alan Shearer's personal plea to the referee not to send off Paul
Konchesky has been hailed as an act of great sportsmanship, but I
noticed his plea began after the West Ham man was on his way to the
shower. Big Al goes up against old foe Roy Keane on Super Sunday, and
Man U at 4/5 are the pick. The Reds have scored goals for fun at St
James' Park in recent years; they've netted an impressive eighteen goals
in their last six visits. It could be another goal-fest, as well as a
'Battle Roy Al'.

Robbie Savage will return to Villa Park for the first time since an
eye-gouging incident involving Olof Mellberg. Now i'm no hippy, but if
there is anything to the theory of karma, then Savage is a cracking bet
at 16/1 to finally receive a sending off in a league match. Super
Soccer make the hairy Welshman the favourite in a series of red card
specials.

"Back to the caravan" - Robbie Savage to be sent off 16/1
"Duncan disorderly" - Ferguson to be sent off 20/1
"Over Keane" - Roy Keane to be sent off 20/1
"Dirty Vid" - Mark Viduka to be sent off 20/1

"Jerm warfare" - Pennant to be sent off 20/1
"Mak the knife" - Claude Makelele to be sent off 20/1

"Go, the whole hog" - Wayne Rooney to be sent off 20/1
"Walk like an Egyptian" - Mido to be sent off 25/1
"Red 'Ed" - Edgar Davids to be sent off 25/1
"Barton, think" - Joey Barton to be sent off 25/1
"Miss the Boat" - George Boateng to be sent off 33/1
"Eidur down" - Gudjohnsen to be sent off 33/1
"Hard dazed Knight" - Zat Knight to be sent off 33/1
"Dirty Den" - Bergkamp to be sent off 33/1

"Raging Bull" - Jimmy Bullard to be sent off 40/1
"Dyer-bolical" - Kieran Dyer to be sent off 40/1
"Frank Butcher" - Lampard to be sent off 40/1

Quote of the week:

"What I had for my breakfast three weeks ago has no bearing on what I do
today."
Mick McCarthy shows a philosophical side.

Stat, you're a liberty:

Charlton will not be relegated this season; no team has ever won their
opening two games and gone on to be relegated from the Premiership.

Acc of the week:

Fulham
Man City
Chelsea
Wigan
Man Utd

The five fold pays over 30/1

Weekend Betting:

West Brom v Birmingham Saturday 27th August 12.15 Live on
Premiership Plus

West Brom 11/8
Draw 11/5
Birmingham 13/8

Get on: West Brom

Both teams were mullered in midweek, and the Albion are the more likely
team to bounce back. It's 10 matches on the road without a win for the
Blues, plus they've never won at the Hawthorns in the Premiership. West
Brom have it, in the Bagg.
Match Special:
West Brom to win 2-0 10/1

Aston Villa v Blackburn Saturday 27th August 15.00

Aston Villa 10/11
Draw 9/4
Blackburn 5/2

Get on: Draw

Blackburn have an excellent record at Villa Park, they've took maximum
points on 6 of their last 11 visits, and can be confident of taking
another point. There's an interesting side issue here, it's the Villans
against the Villains, Olof Mellberg meets Robbie Savage; a true booking
feast.
Match Special:
Milan Baros to score the first goal 5/1

Fulham v Everton Saturday 27th August 15.00

Fulham 13/8
Draw 11/5
Everton 11/8

Get on: Fulham

Sorry Everton fans, all the omens point to a defeat at the Cottage.
Your record in London is awful, and every time you've played Fulham in
the Premiership, the home team have won the match. On the brighter side
though, Liverpool are in the Champions League, even though they finished
below you in the table, that'll cheer you up.
Match Special:
Fulham to win 1-0 7/1

Man City v Portsmouth Saturday 27th August 15.00

Man City 8/13
Draw 13/5
Portsmouth 7/2

Get on: Man City

Pompey are in real trouble. They struggled to earn a point at home to
ten men in midweek, and they haven't won a match in Manchester since
1963. As long as David James has managed to 'prepare properly' then
City are nap of the week material.
Match Special:
Man City to score four or more goals 13/2

Tottenham v Chelsea Saturday 27th August 15.00

Tottenham 9/4
Draw 9/4
Chelsea Evs

Get on: Chelsea

Chelsea are undefeated in the Premiership against their 'title rivals',
and look to be an even money steal at White Hart Lane. It's 13 wins
from 15 games away from home for Jose's men, the Evens looks bigger than
Wayne Rooney's Sunday dinner.
Match Special:
Lampard to score two or more goals 10/1

West Ham v Bolton Saturday 27th August 15.00

West Ham 5/4
Draw 12/5
Bolton 13/8

Get on: Draw

The Hammers kit-man has emailed me to say that 'Rio-Cocoa and Toddy
Shearingham have looked sharp in training'. Bolton are unbeaten in
three on the road, score draw.
Match Special:
Reo-Coker to score at any time 4/1

Wigan v Sunderland Saturday 27th August 15.00

Wigan Evs
Draw 9/4
Sunderland 9/4

Get on: Wigan

24 top flight matches without a win, they're about to make it a pony.
Match Special:
Wigan to score in both halves 9/4

Middlesbrough v Charlton Sunday 28th August
13.30 Live on Sky

Middlesbrough 5/6
Draw 12/5
Charlton 13/5

Get on: Draw

Mark Viduka and Darren Bent have both started the season superbly and
can add to their tally in a score-draw. Who's the value bet for the
first goalscorer? Get Bent.
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score the first goal 7/1

Newcastle v Man Utd Sunday 28th August 16.00
Live on Sky

Newcastle 11/4
Draw 12/5
Man Utd 4/5

Get on: Man Utd

Eight of the last nine matches have produced three or more goals. There
could be four in this one, all to the Manchester franchise.
Match Special:
Man Utd to win 4-0 33/1