All hands to the plump.

My grandmother used to swear by the following advice, if you burn your mouth eating soup, you’ll know to blow it the next time, which is unusually good advise from a clearly deranged pensioner.

After opposing Chelsea earlier in the season, i’m now flip-flopping like a fish in a Japanese restaurant. Conventional wisdom tells us that a team can not go through a Premiership season winning every match, but nothing in life is impossible, with the exception of a Peter Crouch hat-trick.

With nine wins out of nine matches under their belt, you can now back Chelsea at 40/1 to win the remainder of their Premiership matches; although the safer bet will be that Jose’s men remain unbeaten for the rest of the campaign at 4/1.

Chelsea’s performance against Bolton last week was sublime, but like the wife on our wedding night, I feel I have to comment on the disappointing tackle. Michael Essien’s challenge on Tal Ben Haim was the only real negative in a superb display, back Chelsea at 4/11 for an easy win at Goodison Park.

The average footballer is not the smartest tool in the box, take Robbie Savage, you’ll struggle to find a more average footballer than him. He’s on £30,000 a week and he still can’t find a hairdresser.

Robbie goes up against Birmingham City for the first time since his acrimonious departure last season. After facing taunts of ‘money grabber’ from City fans, and ‘geographically challenged hippy’ from a respected betting journalist, Savage will be more fired up than usual for this one. You can back Robbie to be sent off at 16/1.

The controversy surrounding David O’Leary’s celebration at the end of the Birmingham derby last week is understandable, I haven’t heard of a grown man running towards a pensioner with a big smile on his face since the Wayne Rooney story broke. Aston Villa are still on a high after their derby heroics, take the even money about back to back Villa victories.

Somewhat surprisingly, there have only been 10 goals in the last six meetings between Spurs and Man U, although it would have been 11 if it wasn’t for a serious dose of oldtrafforditis from Mark Clattenburg last season. As the plump one is returning to the United starting line up, goals are guaranteed. Man U are a cracking bet at 1/2.

Middlesbrough have been rocked by the news that Abel Xavier has failed a drugs test. Having seen him play, I’m betting they were not performance enhancing. Boro have been inconsistent all season, West Ham are looking better and better, get on the Hammers at 6/5.

The following ‘brace bagging’ specials are available at Super Soccer.

“Bent cops” – Darren Bent to score two or more goals 6/1

“The joy of Cesc” – Fabregas to score two or more goals 16/1

“Who let the Drog out” – Didier Drogba to score two or more goals 9/2

“The Zog on the Tyne” – N’Zogbia to score two or more goals 20/1

“Rocking Horse” – Van Nistelrooy to score two or more goals 4/1

“All hands to the plump” – Wayne Rooney to score two or more goals 5/1

Quote of the week:

“Bolton fans were tucking into their pies at half time, with relish.”

MOTD commentator Guy Mowbray drops a bombshell; is this how Abramovich made his money?

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Every time Wayne Rooney has scored for Man U, United have gone on to win the match. (17 times)

Stat’s not so surprising:

Brian McBride has scored more league goals than Cisse, Crouch and Morientes combined.

Acc of the week:

Arsenal

Aston Villa

Fulham

Man Utd

West Ham

The five fold pays out at 28/1.

Weekend Betting:

Blackburn v Birmingham Saturday 22nd October 12.45 Live on Sky

Blackburn 11/10

Draw 2/1

Birmingham 9/4

Get on: Blackburn

A high scoring match historically, there’s been 19 goals in the last five meetings. Blues have not won at Ewood Park since the swinging 60’s, if Savage doesn’t see red, it’s a home win.

Match Special:

Blackburn to win 3-1 16/1

Arsenal v Man City Saturday 22nd October 15.00

Arsenal 4/11

Draw 3/1

Man City 13/2

Get on: Arsenal

Arsenal have ruled this match in recent seasons, the last dozen meetings in the league have seen 11 wins for Arsenal and a draw. There is no argument for backing Man City.

Match Special:

Thierry Henry to score a hat-trick 12/1

Aston Villa v Wigan Saturday 22nd October 15.00

Aston Villa Evs

Draw 9/4

Wigan 9/4

Get on: Aston Villa

The Villa will still be on a high from their demolition of local neighbours Birmingham; definite home win.

Match Special:

Steven Davis to score at any time 4/1

Fulham v Liverpool Saturday 22nd October 15.00

Fulham 9/4

Draw 9/4

Liverpool Evs

Get on: Fulham

There were 10 goals scored in the 2 meetings last term, that’s more than Liverpool will score away from home all season. Home win.

Match Special:

Fulham to keep a clean sheet 11/5

Man Utd v Tottenham Saturday 22nd October 15.00

Man Utd 1/2

Draw 12/5

Tottenham 11/2

Get on: Man Utd

United only have one home win in the league this season, they’re about to double that figure.

Match Special:

Van Nistelrooy to score a hat-trick 14/1

Portsmouth v Charlton Saturday 22nd October 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Portsmouth 6/4

Draw 11/5

Charlton 6/4

Get on: Draw

Charlton have a 100% record on the road. That’s right, Charlton. Score draw.

Match Special:

Match to finish 2-2 14/1

Newcastle v Sunderland Sunday 23rd October 13.30 Live on Premiership Plus

Newcastle 8/13

Draw 11/5

Sunderland 9/2

Get on: Draw

With four of the last nine derbies ending in a draw, the 11/5 on offer for another looks a value bet.

Match Special:

Stephen Elliott to score at any time 9/4

Bolton v West Brom Sunday 23rd October 15.00

Bolton 8/13

Draw 12/5

West Brom 4/1

Get on: Bolton

Bolton have never beaten the Baggies in the Premiership, until now.

Match Special:

Bolton to score in both halves 13/8

West Ham v Middlesbrough Sunday 23rd October 15.00

West Ham 6/5

Draw 9/4

Middlesbrough 9/5

Get on: West Ham

West Ham enjoy hosting the Boro, the last three matches have all been won 1-0 by the Hammers.

Match Special:

West Ham to win 1-0 6/1

Everton v Chelsea Sunday 23rd October 16.00 Live on Sky

Everton 13/2

Draw 3/1

Chelsea 4/11

Get on: Chelsea

The last four games between Everton and Chelsea have produced a total of three goals; Chelsea could hit five in this one.

Match Special:

Chelsea to score five or more goals 9/1