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Ruud van Missed All
Boy
Two weeks is a long time in football, it's at least
14 days. A fortnight ago, playing Newcastle in a cup
semi final looked a trickier proposition than confronting
Duncan Ferguson after he's knocked over your pint and
questioned your girlfriend's sexual morality. But that
was before the Loony Toon fist fight. Now on paper,
the Newcastle team looks easier to beat than Kieron
Dyer.
But before we ring up Super Soccer
to pile into the 4/5 about Man U, we need to analyze
the Missedelrooy factor.
Van the blank's return from injury
should have inspired United to their customary end of
season charge, but surprisingly; the equine-featured
frontman has failed to find the back of the net in eight
matches. The previously on fire Wayne Rooney has also
been affected, England's next/already big thing has
only scored in one match since the galloping Dutchman
returned.
So how do you bet with confidence
on the match. Do you back an under strength Newcastle,
(The equivalent of pulling a good looking girl, but
discovering she has a missing leg.) or do you place
your hard-earned on a team that's not scoring. (The
equal of copping off with a girl who used to be a looker,
but has really let herself go.) I'm backing the draw,
a 5/2 shot at BET 365. (Yes, my Mrs is very dull.)
While Van Naughtelrooy has found
the net zero times in eight matches, Terry Henry has
hit double figures. It would probably be unfair to say
that Blackburn have no chance of beating Arsenal, but
they have literally no chance of beating Arsenal. The
Gunners are scoring for fun, play fantastic football
and are hungry for a trophy; Blackburn have Robbie Savage
and Paul Dickov. Get on Arsenal minus a goal, a 6/4
shot at Stan James.
Riddle me this, Arsenal are higher
in the table than Man U; Arsenal are in better form
than Man U; Terry Henry is in better nick than Rooney
and Van Nistelrooy combined and Arsenal have the easier
semi-final draw. Who should be favourites to lift the
Cup outright?
Stan James believe the answer
is Man U. I can only assume that liabilities on United
are the reason why they go 11/10 Man U and 11/8 Arsenal,
but whatever the reason, dive on the 11/8 like you're
Ashley Cole.
Now I'm not a Sky TV executive,
my only experience with television is turning off Soccer
AM each week, but why would they decide to show Birmingham
v Portsmouth? Liverpool play Tottenham in a scrap for
European places, Palace play Norwich in a relegation
dogfight, but Sky have decided to screen the televisual
equivalent of a rottweiler chewing your testicles.
Luckily for the better bettor,
the duller the game, the easier it is to show a profit.
The game has nil nil spray-painted all over it, and
a dull match that produces a 17/2 winner is always better
than a great game that generates a loser, not that I've
ever backed a loser.
Quote of the week:
"You collect shirts; what's
all that about?"
'Sugary' Rob McCaffrey asks Maik Taylor all the difficult
questions.
Cliché watch: (Inspired
by Blackburn)
What they say:
"They're a physical team."
What they mean:
"They're all animals."
Q and A of the week:
"What else can Stuart Pearce
do to get the job full time?"
'Sugary' Rob McCaffrey asks the question
"He could try improving
his one win in three record."
Is the truthful answer
Straight to the Punt:
Crystal Palace: Norwich simply
don't turn up away from home. Palace are odds on with
BET 365, Skybet and Super Soccer; but you can get 11/10
with Stanleybet.
Acc's man:
Arsenal
Crystal Palace
Liverpool
Birmingham to draw
Newcastle to draw
The five fold pays over 60/1
with Stan James
Weekend Betting:
Arsenal v Blackburn Saturday 16th April 12.15 Live on
Sky FA Cup Semi Final
Arsenal 4/7 Totesport
Draw 3/1 Sportingbet
Blackburn 7/1 Bet Direct
Get on: Arsenal
Arsenal have beaten Blackburn
home and away for the last two seasons without conceding
a goal. It's virtually a bye.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win by two or more goals 6/4 @ Stan James
Charlton v Bolton Saturday 16th
April 15.00
Charlton 6/4 Bet Direct
Draw 9/4 Super Soccer
Bolton 2/1 Paddy Power
Get on: Bolton
Bolton have already put four
past Charlton this season; the way the Addicks are playing,
there's every chance of a repeat.
Match Special:
Bolton to score three or more goals 6/1 @ Betfred
Crystal Palace v Norwich Saturday
16th April 15.00
Crystal Palace 11/10 Stanleybet
Draw 5/2 Super Soccer
Norwich 11/4 Premier Bet
Get on: Crystal Palace
It's six away defeats on the
bounce for the Canaries and A.J.'s due a goal. It'll
be a Crystal ball.
Match Special:
Andy Johnson to score the first goal 4/1 @ Super Soccer
Fulham v Man City Saturday 16th
April 15.00
Fulham 11/8 Paddy Power
Draw 9/4 Super Soccer
Man City 2/1 Stan James
Get on: Draw
It's now seven matches unbeaten
at home for Fulham; which is handy, because they're
absolutely useless away.
Match Special:
One goal or less to be scored in the match 5/2 @ Super
Soccer
Liverpool v Tottenham Saturday
16th April 15.00
Liverpool 4/5 BET 365
Draw 12/5 Skybet
Tottenham 4/1 Boylesports
Get on: Liverpool
One point from four matches on
the road says it all for Spurs; Pool need the win and
they're gonna get it.
Match Special:
Liverpool to keep a clean sheet Evs @ Betfred
Southampton v Aston Villa Saturday
16th April 15.00
Southampton 13/10 Paddy Power
Draw 23/10 BET 365
Aston Villa 12/5
Get on: Southampton
It's very rare to find an absolute
weighed-in certainty, but here you go. Peter Crouch
will score.
Match Special:
Peter Crouch to score at any time 6/4 @ Super Soccer
Birmingham v Portsmouth Saturday
16th April 17.15 Live on P.P.V.
Birmingham 10/11 BET 365
Draw 23/10 Stanleybet
Portsmouth 10/3
Get on: Draw
New manager syndrome will inspire
Pompey to grab a point in a dull goal-less paint-drying
boreathon.
Match Special:
Match to finish 0-0 17/2 @ BET 365
Newcastle v Man Utd Sunday 17th
April 14.00 Live on BBC FA Cup Semi Final
Newcastle 9/2 Sportingbet
Draw 5/2 BET 365
Man Utd 4/5 Super Soccer
Get on: Draw
An out of form United meet an
under strength Newcastle; I like penalties. (I've had
enough.)
Match Special:
Extra-time and penalties to be required 5/1 @ Blue Square
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